I'm always surprised when I hear people who are laid back about money and comes and money goes. They lose everything and say oh, I'll just make it back. I really don't get it.
To me money is food on the table, a roof over my head, being able to meet my financial obligations responsibly and pay what I owe. It's important. Right now it's a main focus.
But, I can't wrap my head around how it is that the harder I work, the more poor we seem. Payday comes and I take out my calculator and subtract all the bills and such and say OK, we have $300 until next payday for groceries and whatever. Then all of a sudden it's gone. An unexpected bill comes, we need to buy something we hadn't planned on, there's a service fee or something. Like last night, we were down to the last few cents in our account, but payday was only hours away. Paypal chose that moment to try and pull $4 from my account. It wasn't there - it would have been a few hours later, but a the time they tried it wasn't - so bam, $40 NSF charge from my bank because of a tiny little $4 overdraft. It's like 1000% interest charge!
I just finished putting in hours and hours getting all these items ready for the new Red Jade store (selling hand-made wooden swords and Chinese crafts at the Kung-Fu school) just hoping I might make an extra $40 or more. Before I even do, it gets picked right out of my pocket. I'm sure many of you have experienced similar things. Despite reading all these financial and self-help books, and working hard, and trying to make the right financial decisions, we are still in a situation where we have to scrimp and save and sweat for every extra dollar above my normal salary. Yet, these leaks keep happening. Like we're on an ill-repaired boat that just keeps popping rivets and springing new leaks constantly. Why do some people have no problem making money - it just falls into their lap, everything they touch turns gold. They have the Midas touch. I sometimes feel like I have the opposite - the Sadim touch. Everything I touch turns to lead. I work hard at my job to gt a promotion and then they yank my overtime. I invest in an internet marketing campaign selling a proven successful product and yet somehow for me it has a zero conversion rate. It just won't sell. I set up an on-line crafts store at art-fire. Only one sale in 3 months - it cost me 10 times as much to run the store as I've made from it. I just self-published a book - not a single copy sold yet, not even to friends and family.
I don't believe in luck, divine guidance, predestination, fate, karma or any of that stuff - not logically anyway. But I sure can see how easily one could turn to those beliefs. Maybe I should sacrifice a goat to Janus or something - that's what they did in ancient Rome to ask for a successful business venture (we've been watching the Rome DVDs...can you tell?).
A lot of these self-help gurus are very much into the power of positive thinking. I found it so funny when one of them on Facebook posted something to the effect of the greatest obstacle o success is your own negative attitudes. And all the followers were leaving these glowing comments about how he was so wise, and they would teach that to their own students and on and on. And I wondered if any of these people were already successful, or were they among those seeking success and grasping for hope. My own experience is that a positive attitude and optimism are rarely rewarded. I have been very optimistic going into ventures and all of them have failed to live up to expectations. On the other hand, those times that I have been pessimistic, I have often been pleasantly surprised when things turned out. And if they didn't - I was already prepared.
So, since my positive attitude in these past few years has not helped one bit, I'm dropping it. No more Mr. positive. Meet Mr. pessimistic. Things will turns crappy and I'll just have to deal with it. And if by some random occurrence something turns out OK, that's a bonus. And if this whole post just comes off as one long rambling complaint - oh well, no one reads this blog anyway.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I too am in the sinking boat you speak of...and I guess the lone reader of your blog!
ReplyDeleteWhat you wrote hit home...especially since Jon's been on EI since June - my part time income and his EI payments don't pay the bills and we've been in the overdraft experiencing fees and interest like crazy and I too have that drowning sensation every night before I crawl into my warm bed. We had three NSF $40 charges this month when we finally had to ask for help from my in-laws...and we don't splurge or spoil in the least as a general lifestyle, in our defense.
But I have to get you to re-focus your statement that "positive thinking has no reward"....it might not seem like that but it's the bridge to better times. It's what gets me to sleep at night for sure! It teaches your children resilience and the art of perserverance in a mature and graceful manner....a reward right there!
I have sold Epicure spices and dips, I've done the network marketing things like Melaleuca and now I'm focusing on my love - babies and children - and starting yet another "venture." It's the fight in me, the promise to my husband that I will do and try whatever it takes to bring in the almighty dollar that our society runs on. The same promise you made yourself and your spouse so I know how you feel!
This brings me to the topic of communal living. I've joked about it to my husband Jon but it's in the back of my head all the time - the communal garden, shared living spaces, back-to-basic thinking like making your own clothes, soaps, jewellry - riding your bike & walking...for you, your family, the environment and more. It has some merit I tell ya. I have been visiting and thinking about Hutterite Colonies and minus their religious beliefs, am intrigued with the sense of their "community."
So I take my faith, positive attitude, silver-linging mentality (call it what you wish) and try to create the closest to it for now, maybe too scared or a bit naiive, to make the huge plunge, the big change...but the tug is there, the need for a more simple life where the dollar doesn't rule!
Our intentions are true and honest Marc...Hang in there buddy!
Hey Leslie,
ReplyDeleteI still have positive thinking with regards to my family. The positive thinking I'm talking about tossing is the unmerited optimism a la "the secret" kind of thinking where if you think it, it will come. The trying to convince yourself this time my venture will work out. I'm not meaning to be a negative sourpuss all the time, just to be more realistic about money stuff and prepare for the worst.
As for communal living - it's the Hutterite's faith that makes it work. Hippie communes is the same thing. Those only work with a combined group sense of purpose and usually strong leadership. Trust me, I've lived in 2 co-ops. When people are there to save money, but are forced to try to work together, all they do is bicker and fight and play politics. Nothing gets done. It's a big mess. A much better situation is just having a group of good friends and family that helps each other out.
I always find t funny how the dollar is just an abstract now. I rarely deal with cash. It's just a bunch of numbers in a bank account. Seriously, if I could just add a couple of 1s and 0s to that screen, life would suddenly become very simple.
I soooo am where you are. The grind seems to go on for ever without ever getting above water. Those new agey "The Secret" gurus are full of horseshit in my opinion. Tell a child dying in Africa that they are where they are because either they or their paraents didn't have enough positivity. Or tell someone dying of cancer that they have a negative attitude. Total and utter horseshit. Not everyone has it easy, and it isn't their negativity causing it to happen. The only thing I would say is that positivity is better then the alternative...hopelessness. And that's not good for anyone. But we all have our moments and we can't be positive all the time. Hang in there man. What's important here is that you are actually trying to do something that you dream of doing. Most just leave it as a dream.
ReplyDeleteNice blog, I'm a follower. And plus your a Canadian and we need to stick together hehe. Thanks for the follow...and keep givin' er. Something will happen.