The Mythology of Childhood (things I once believed)

We recently acquired a hot air popcorn popper - because the microwave stuff has too much fat and salt my wife's dietitian recommended it.  My younger daughter, Emma age 8, just loves it.  She sits, entranced by the whirling kernels spinning inside the machine until one by one, they explode in a puff of whiteness with a great POP.  It reminds me of something my older siblings had told me as a child:  If you look into the popper while it's running, it'll make you go blind. 

I have two older siblings, a sister and brother, and both were prone to telling my gullible childhood self interesting things that I later found out were blatantly false.  Some of my friends who were older than me also liked to play the game of seeing what stupid things they could make me believe.  Here are a few examples of the myths that coloured my childhood:

-  The skinny reddish roots that are exposed when you dig in the sandbox come from plants that are growing in hell and the roots reach upwards.  If you pull on the roots, it makes the devil angry.

-Eating ice-cream before bed will result in nightmares - every single time.

-If you forget to rinse the shampoo out of your hair, worms and maggots and other creepy things will grow there overnight.

-If you go to bed with gum in your mouth, it will end up in your hair no matter what. It's a certainty.

-Orange juice is an essential ingredient in egg-nog.

-That old out of shape pink house across the back-lane is haunted.  If you go to the door and wave your hand in the window, you will see a ghost hand waving back from the far room (it was a mirror of course, but it freaked me out anyway!)

-Every Easter, my sister and her friends kill the Easter bunny, and a new one takes its place.  That Easter there were actual rabbit tracks in the light snow that had fallen (a coincidence) and a red spot in the snow (food coloring I think).  My sister denies this ever happened, but I remember it very clearly because I was quite traumatized.

-Santa Claus once screwed up and labeled my gift for my younger brother, and his for me.  I woke up first and was puzzled by the gift.  Luckily, my parents somehow knew about the error and re-wrapped the present for him and gave me mine.

There were a few others, of course.
I bet you've got some of your own.
Care to share?

Got my butt kicked by 3 girls!

So the other day, 3 girls individually beat me up and knocked me out repeatedly.  It was embarassing.  My Kung-Fu skills were completely useless as they pounded me into unconsciousness.  It was my first experience at Nintendo Wii boxing, and my 8 year old beat me up several times.  My wife tried and also beat me up on her first try, and so my reluctant 10 year old, who wasn't even sure she wanted to fight but bested me with ease.



I don't quite get it.  I've never used a Wii before, and I don't own one (yet). Hoping to maybe get one as a family for Christmas. Anyway, I even tried switching controllers with my 8 year old, Emma, thinking that maybe it was the controller's fault. After all, how could Emma be beating me? Wasn't the controller. She still KOed me in the first round. I can only guess that the Wii responds better to wild flailing than to my attempt to use some Kung-Fu moves. At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. If you think you know how I could improve my Wii boxing technique, let me know. I'd love some pointers.

Made it! Road trip update

First off to those who have been reading - thanks for all the comments. The comments think was a widget that some blog directory required me to use - Blog catalog I think - I'll try to figure out why it will only accept guest. Maybe you have to be logged in to blogger first?

Made it!



We made it. We drove with only short breaks about 1800 kilometres from BC to Manitoba via Montana and North Dakota. It took about 26 hours. I id all the driving and yes, I was very tired, but forced myself to stay awake a few more to visit and get a normal night's sleep so as not to totally mess up my sleep schedule.

So as expected, we did have adventures on the road trip. They just weren’t the ones we anticipated. The car made it fine – still sputtering but no major problems. But the guy at the place I just got my oil changed at thinks I may have to get the timing belt fixed - there goes another $600 down the tube!

The borders both going in and coming out were quick and painless – didn’t even wait in line. Though I got anxious every time I swiped my credit card – fully expecting a decline – it came back approved every time.

Somehow I had completely forgotten about motion sickness – both my daughters spent much of the time looking green and emptied their stomachs a few times. Luckily we always keep some empty yogurt containers in the car just for that eventuality!

The dogs were great except for one error in communication. You see, there was lightning the entire night. At first, River was OK with it, which was a bit of a surprise because he usually freaks out at thunderstorms. So when, after a break in the storm, the lightning came back and he started whining, we assumed it was the storm causing him to be upset. So we just did our best to calm him down, though we puzzled as to why the first storm hadn’t upset him, but this one did. Our discussion was interrupted by a foul smell and our daughters gagging and screaming about the horrible” smell. But River wasn’t whining anymore. I really must apologize to the people who adopted that portion of highway in Eastern Montana. I usually would not even consider littering, but there was no way I was going to travel the next 100 miles with a bag full of dog poop and the baby wipes I used to clean it up riding shotgun.

On another item, I am considering suing whoever at the Montana Department of Transportation is responsible for marking the bumps on the section of road construction happening on the Eastern section of highway 2. The first bump they labelled with massive sign turned out to be insignificant. So too with the second so called "bump". The third actual real bump, which would be more aptly described as the road equivalent of rapids rather than a bump, was labelled as “detour”. We arrived at the detour doing the recommended 35 MPH only to find ourselves flung up and down as if we’d just hit a section of speed-bumps at high speed. I’ve never done rodeo, but I imagine that this is what attempting to ride a bull feels like. My poor wife’s fibromyalgic muscles immediately responded by spasming severely and proceeding to cause her hours of excruciating pain on top of her already considerable pain. So if by some stroke of coincidence the man or woman responsible for labelling those bumps is reading this – I’d like you to do penance by driving that section at 50 MPH at least 10 times. Then your mistake will be forgiven and you can go and screw-up no more.

On the very much positive side, gas was at least 1/3 cheaper in the States versus Canada. Same with food. And that’s even taking exchange into consideration. The change of scenery was nice, though I wish we’d had time and money to stop at some of the attractions – like the “Bear drive-thru” where “your car is the cage.” And the amusement park with the maze and go-carts. And Glacier National Park river rafting.

There are some more details of the trip I will post later - since I'm borrowing a connection right now. My folks are in dial-up land, at Manipogo. So I'm taking advantage of my sister's high-speed while we're here in Dauphin (about an hour's drive from my parent's place). We came today instead of he planned trip on Wednesday because I had to take Niqi to the hospital for a severe fibromyalgia flare. She couldn't walk on her own, her pain was 14 out of 10 and her muscles were spasming and twitching. Not fun. Anyway, we decided to go to the closest hospital in Ste-Rose. The hospital has no Dr's apparently, they're all in the clinic. So after being seen at the hospital we had to go the clinic to see the doc, then back to the hospital. Sounds bad, but it wasn't - took maybe an hour. In contrast I once went to an ER in Downtown Vancouver with severe abdominal pain and was left curled up in a fetal position on the floor and vomiting for 4 hours before being seen. Then they kicked me out while I was still hopped up on morphine and in no condition to walk, because they needed the bed. Thank goodness for small town hospitals!!!


Will post again in a couple of days with pictures and video. Cheers everyone.